So much has changed in my life, I don't even know where to begin.
I got married, to a wonderful man. I am in therapy, which is actually helping...and I got my GED. I am earning my phlebotomy certification :) Also, moving to England with my husband (he is from there) in the next year or so. Life is so insanely crazy! I can't wait to see what other amazing blessings are in store for me and my new little family!

Perception is everything...

It started off as any other day. Get up, nibble at breakfast, and take Rylie out for a nice walk. Getting bored with my usual route I decide to undertake a new path, on the opposite side of the greenbelt. When i see a dirt path leading along side the trail, i decide that would be a fun addition, down just a ways and back. When about a  mile down and a few bridges and several twists and turns later it leads back up to what is now a gravel path,  I assume to be the green belt in the same direction I had begun. It is beautiful, calm and quiet. everything I want on a morning walk. I get lost in the recesses of my mind...when i suddenly realize I no longer hear the water. As I look around I see there are no houses, no street paths, no people...just tall trees and a dirt path. Rylie is enjoying hims self and it is a pretty path so i continue a ways down...I suddenly hear water again. A small stream to the left and a LAKE to the right!? Where the hell am I? no signs of human life! Another mile down the path i cross a bridge, there are houses on the other side of the lake, each with a personal dock and boat. I must be day dreaming! this is absurd. I suddenly get the bright idea to check my pedometer-10 miles! and I don't have any clue where i am, I try to pull up my gps locater but it is stuck on "searching"  I finally decide to turn around and head back, when I start to pass the house free portion of the lake i get my location. Eagle Island State park! Really?!?! I could have sworn I was walking towards Boise! I must have zigged when i should have zagged as Angie puts it :) When I finally find my way back I see that I AM now on the green belt path, and the short turn off i took that ran alongside the green belt about 6feet apart. separated only by giant trees, turns back on it's self. Heading in the very OPPOSITE direction I had set out on.
One small step, for just a minute, a simple indulgent minute. This was how it started, and it was incredible, everything i could have wanted...at least that is what I thought at first. then I realized as "fun" as it may seem. I was lost!! I started thinking about all of the things in my life that began with a "this is fun, and it's not too bad" comment. Those small indulgent, seemingly innocent moments, have taken me miles in the wrong direction. even when it seemed as though I could still see the "path" and it was parallel to where I wanted to be, I had actually doubled back and lost my way. While I am now on my way back, I am still miles away from being "safely home". I know with my Heavenly Fathers help, and keeping my eyes wide open while making the effort to purposefully stay on the main path, I will end up right where I am supposed to be :)
 
First person in miles!!! Happy day :) No idea where he came from, or where he is going, but I decided to turn around and follow them back to civilization...

To my future.....husband?

In the unlikely event that I get married, here are a few thoughts to help in the relationship. Some are borrowed ides, others my own...in any event, they are all applicable to how I feel.

Things, I'll do, Things I won't. Either way, you'll be mine and I'll be yours.

Something about eating Chinese food on the floor for the first meal in a new place feels so right and tastes so good. Let's make a pact now, to do this anytime we may move.
Summer Fridays, I will pack the bags and meet you at your office, and we're getting out of town for the weekend.
I will give you, and only you, the last piece of my gum.
If we live back east, we must have an EZ pass.
I want to make you laugh, I want you to make me laugh too.
I will dance around the house, while I clean, when getting ready for the day, while cooking, and just because...feel free to join me.
I will hold your hand in public, possibly sneak in a tasteful kiss or two, too.
I don't like causing a scene...but if I throw down my napkin at the end of dinner and proclaim loudly "I'm never answering a personals ad again!" You could play along. Role playing is fun, so is spontaneity.
Lets make a pact to properly dispose of toenails. Gross? Maybe. At least we'll be clean and happy.
FYI I am making this all up as I move along this crazy road called life.
I sing (not well) in the shower, kitchen, car, store...just know that it happens.
Always wear seat belts.
IF we KNOW neither of us can fix it, lets not try. Lets call someone who CAN.
Always have a decided exit strategy for all social events.
No "lap" dogs. 40lbs or more only.
The park is a perfect 'for get our troubles' and people watch spot.
Mint? I'll let you know if you need one, please do the same for me and we will be a-okay.
Let's make sure all the doors are locked before bed.
Jewelry-simple with classic elegance
I will save some of the bubble wrap for you to pop
I will put together furniture from IKEA that requires some assembly. i actually enjoy doing it.
I want Christmas lights
Sometimes I eat cake batter, grab a spoon and join me won't you?
I will rarely if ever, wear matching socks.
When traveling, I like the window seat
I would love a closet like the one off the sex and the city movie.
Random notes, texts, and calls.........means I love you.
I am a morning person, love naps and early bedtimes...occasional late nights are fun.
I love to do laundry and watch a movie (alone). This is a perfect time for you to visit your friends.
At the end of a long day, you're the ONLY thing on my mind. Hugs and kisses please :)
My family is crazy, please embrace this and keep me grounded.
The only shopping I enjoy is grocery shopping, and I enjoy doing this together sometimes.
I have a thing for photo booths. I will want to stop at all of them. If possible, i want one at our wedding reception.
I won't read your personal emails, snoop through your texts etc. TRUST. It's amazing.
I will be so proud of the kids if they make the honor roll. That will be enough, so lets not plaster one of those bumper stickers on the car.
Sometimes I am wrong and you're right. Sometimes you're wrong and I'm right. Just a heads up.
Zodiac, tarot, and light paths interest me, but I'll not live my life by it.
Foot rubs, I will happily give them. DON'T touch my feet or you WILL get kicked.
If my train, plane, red wagon, chariot, stage coach or ride is delayed, I will call you. Please do the same for me.
Naps: I take them, and highly recommend them.
I will wear your shirts
I won't pepper you with questions when we see each other after a long day. There's nothing wrong with just lounging for a bit. relax. Together. Relax together.
Cold bedroom, open windows, lots of blankets.
Beach/lake in the spring/summer, cities in the fall.
It's cold outside, let's walk tight together, with cocoa.
You don't have to like my friends, i will not like all of yours, but please respect them.
Not big on PDA
I am sarcastic. Here's hoping you are too
Leashes are for dogs, not children. This will never be okay.
If it's icy, I will grab onto you. If I go down, you're coming with me.
I'm a superb back scratcher. though I will ask mine done more often.
I love the scenic routes
Saturday afternoon, let's be outside
I will want to go to the fair, carnival,flea market, street fair, etc.
Lets open the windows or sit on the porch to enjoy the thunderstorms.
Falling snow, and thunder storms are like catnip to me, expect a giddy toddler, type of reaction.

Human nature leads to creeps

It has occurred to me many times before, but now it is weighing on my mind. 
Is it simply human nature and interest to want to know about other people and their lives? Where does that line come into play? You know the line I am talking about. That line you cross, and as you do think "is this creepy?" and then quickly rationalize "no, it's curiosity". Ive got news for you, IT IS CREEPY!
However, thank you to the social media, it is acceptable. I can "stalk" whomever I chose on the internet.  Follow a strangers blog for entertainment? Yes, I think I will. Accept a friend request from a stranger on facebook? Sure, why not?
Don't misunderstand me, I have followed, even commented on blogs, that I have no personal connection to the author! Somehow, it is fun to get involved in another persons life in a drama free way...and it adds a higher sense of excitement when they are a complete stranger!
Am I the only one out there that thinks this? No! Have you ever googled, followed,liked a page, or read an eye catching article about a celebrity? That is the same thing! Clicked on a friend of a friend's picture on facebook or twitter, to see what they are all about? Yep, you're a creep on the internet too :) we all are! Embrace it!
So my real question is this: Does anyone else feel it is weird, that we get so much enjoyment out of cyber-stalking complete strangers?!
I just recently took part in this "creepy" thing. A friend posted a link to some guys text chat that he blogged about. My first thought? "Seriously? Another viral video? Stop posting these they are dumb!" Then, out of curiosity (since I have been known to get a little snarky, especially via text) I had to see what the fuss was about. After realizing that he was messing with a wrong number I was hooked! I love when that happens, in fact, one of my now dearest friends started as a wrong number. 
After reading through this strangers blogged text war, I had to know more about him. I read a few other posts, and he is witty, ambitious, sarcastic, clearly loves his family, appreciates the little things in life, and  is very charming. I have come to the conclusion, we could be great friends! Problem. I have NO IDEA WHO HE IS because of the random way I was "introduced" to him. So how do I remedy this? Cyber-stalking!! Yes, that's right, I am now a follower of his blog, so I can enjoy the pieces of himself he shares with the world. I THINK THAT IS CREEPY and yet, I am happy to be an internet creep :) 
 

Blue skies...

You see someone running incredibly fast - The first thing you gotta ask is 'Are they running to something or are they running from something?' The answer is always both. 

January 4th, 2012. New year, second chances, clean slates.You ever try to clean an actual slate? You always see what was on it before. So as this new year starts, and I have my "clean" slate, I am still reminded of all that transpired over the past years. Each year there seems to be a reoccurring theme, escape. Escape is the name of my game. I try to escape everything, always in search of something better. This year, I have decided to stay put, stop trying to out run destiny and find the path of my own creation, clearly I haven't been happy in my findings thus far. It is time to stop running from who I am and what is in the plan for me, whatever that may be.
There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.[quoting Hamlet] 
So this year will be all good, I choose to think it is so. with my new come what may attitude, I feel that it is going to be a remarkable year. One to never forget, which is good, since it will forever remain on my slate.
So here is to sunshine, happiness and blue skies... 

New YEAR New YOU!

It seems to me, that whenever a new year begins, people try to change them selves over night. Not in little subtle ways to improve upon their already designed  character. They attempt to modify themselves in every area of their lives. It soon appears it is an insurmountable feat. When they realize this, they lower their expectations, become complacent and eventually just give up. The reason for the new YEARS goals, is that it is a goal to accomplish over the next 12 months! Break that "insurmountable" goal into easy to achieve goals. As you check off your little goals, you will feel accomplished, renewed and successful! Inevitably completing your new years goal by the end of the year! 
I have a habit of setting new goals about every 6 months. Not always for self improvement, but to keep me working towards something. I have already accomplished a goal I had set out to do by the end of 2012, it also appeared on my bucket list! GET A MEANINGFUL TATTOO. It was my first, and likely my only tattoo. I adore it :) The experience was enjoyable from beginning to end, and pain free which was surprising. With that out of the way, here are a few of the things I would like to accomplish this year to create the "new" me.

1.Take a dance class- not to ACTUALLY learn to dance, just for a fun way to improve on balance, grace, and to keep my body moving.

2. Go rock climbing-I would like to go to the climbing gym here in Boise, and attempt rock climbing again. I have done it before and loved it. However, it has been years, and I am not exactly equipped to just jump in where I left of.

3. Go skydiving- this was one I had planned for  this past summer, unfortunately a torn LCL prevented me from doing much this summer. So this year, I would love to go for my birthday!

4. Play chess- I want to learn the original game of strategy. I think it will be fun :)

5. Take the necessary steps to be 100% debt free- I have a lot of medical debt unfortunately, so I want to consolidate and attack the stack of bills!

6.Maintain and improve my fitness routine- I am actually in  good rhythm now for my workouts. Starting to see results. I just need to remember to pair the workouts with proper nutrition.  *side note, I would like to improve my flexibility as well, but I believe this will be done through my fitness goals already in place.

7. Go back to school- not entirely sure that I have settled on exactly what I wish to study when I go back, but I do wish to at least get my feet wet and get in there to explore a few more options.

So there it is, my 2012 list of goals. I will be sure to set them in the

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Timely

goal setting style. I hope each of you has an incredible end to what was a challenging year. May we all be blessed with the courage, strength and dedication for this next year! Welcome to 2012!

 

Unsettled

Today is one of those days where no matter what I do, I feel unsettled. As though there is something amiss, something terribly wrong and I can't figure it out...
Going out with a few friends tonight to a movie and then heading downtown. It should be fun, but really, if I can't calm my nerves will there be a bad energy with me all night? I am hoping to relax and have fun! Maybe even meet a new man! i have had great luck as of late on my nights out...
Tonight is MY N.Y.E. celebration, since I work tomorrow. So wish me luck in the fun department.